How to Pray When You Don’t Know What to Say: A Simple Framework (Part 2)

Bob Hayes
Oct 30
8 min read

Woman sitting on bench overlooking the water with seagulls flying overhead.

In Part 1 of this series, we explored the opening framework of Jesus’ model prayer—the invitation to approach God as “Our Father,” the call to honor God’s true character, and the vision of God’s kingdom taking root in our everyday lives.

But Jesus didn’t stop with the big ideas. He moved the prayer into deeply practical territory. Here’s the full prayer framework he gave us:

“Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven.

“Give us today our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

As we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one” (Matthew 6:9-13, NIV).

Notice how the prayer shifts. After positioning your heart toward God, Jesus brings God into the messiness of being human. He addresses three deeply practical questions—the kind of stuff you’re actually dealing with when you wake up in the morning:

Will there be enough? (“Give us today our daily bread”)
Can I be forgiven? (“Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”)
How do I stay on track? (“Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil”)

In Part 2, we’ll focus on “Give us today our daily bread” and “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” In Part 3, we’ll explore “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

This is where prayer gets real. This is where ancient words meet your actual life—your bank account, your broken relationships, your 3am anxieties, your recurring struggles.

The Power of Daily Rhythm

What if you woke up each morning and imagined that the Creator of the universe was waiting to say good morning to you personally? Not in some abstract, far-off place, but with the intimacy of someone who genuinely cares about what you’re facing today.

That’s the invitation embedded in the simple phrase: “Give us today our daily bread.”

On the surface, it’s about food and shelter—the practical stuff of life. And that matters. The mortgage payment. The grocery list. The medical bills. These aren’t trivial concerns to be spiritually bypassed. They’re the real terrain of human existence, and any spirituality worth its salt has to address them.

But there’s something deeper happening here. The request isn’t just about physical provision—it’s about spiritual sustenance too. Think of it as the nourishment you need to show up as your best self today: the patience to listen when you’d rather react, the courage to be vulnerable when you’d rather hide, the clarity to make decisions aligned with your values.

When we ask for our daily bread, we’re humbly acknowledging Someone beyond ourselves as the Giver of all we need, living day by day, one step at a time.

Jesus said, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry” (John 6:35). We come to Him daily, feeding on His presence and His Word.

Here’s what makes this framework so powerful: it refuses to separate the spiritual from the physical. You’re not just a soul floating through life—you’re a human being who needs to eat, pay bills, and navigate real-world challenges.

Think about it: when someone is facing physical hunger, it’s nearly impossible to engage them in conversations about meaning and purpose. Meeting physical needs creates space for spiritual growth. They work together, not against each other.

When we pray for daily bread, we are literally asking God (Our Father) to meet our every need. That includes the practical (food, clothing, financial stability) and the intangible (peace, strength, connection, purpose).

Think About This: What’s one practical need you’re facing today? What’s one spiritual need (patience, courage, clarity, peace)? Bring both to God right now.

Why “Daily” Changes Everything

Notice the emphasis on daily—not weekly, monthly, or yearly. There’s profound wisdom in this focus on the present moment.

Most of us are hoarders. We accumulate more stuff than we need and obsess over futures that haven’t arrived. We’re planning months and years ahead, envisioning scenarios that may never materialize, while the actual moment we’re living in—right now—slips past unnoticed.

The daily focus teaches us three critical lessons:

Mindfulness: Being present with today rather than consumed by tomorrow’s possibilities. Modern wellness culture talks a lot about mindfulness, but this isn’t a new concept. Like Jesus pointed out, “Don’t worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today” (Matthew 6:34 CEV).
Trust: Believing that tomorrow will have what it needs when it arrives. His mercies are new every morning—which means we don’t need to stockpile grace or hoard provision. Today has enough for today.
Rhythm: Establishing a daily practice of connection rather than sporadic spiritual binges. Just like we need physical food every day, we need spiritual nourishment on a regular basis. Our bodies digest food and get hungry again. The same is true spiritually.

We’re designed to live in this daily rhythm. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Right now.

Think About This: What future worry are you carrying that you could release right now? What would it look like to trust God with just today?

The “Us” That Changes Everything

Here’s where the framework gets even more profound. The prayer doesn’t say “give me my daily bread.” It says “give us our daily bread.”

This shifts the entire frame. You’re not just praying about your own pantry. You’re bringing awareness to the broader human need around you—the kid at school facing food insecurity, the neighbor who lost their job, the global reality that hunger exists not because there isn’t enough food, but because of broken systems.

You’re praying not just for yourself but for others whose needs you may know or whose needs may be at a distance.

When you pray “give us our daily bread,” you’re also asking: What part can I play today in addressing the needs around me? What resources do I have? How can I participate in meeting the needs of my community?

This transforms prayer from passive request to active participation. You’re not just asking God to fix things—you’re positioning yourself as part of the solution.

Think About This: Who in your life right now is facing a genuine need? What’s one small way you could help meet that need this week?

The Hardest Conversation: Forgiveness

If the prayer starts with our daily needs, it quickly moves to something far more difficult: “Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors.”

This is where prayer gets uncomfortable—and real.

Acknowledging What We Owe

To pray “forgive us our debts” requires acknowledging that we’ve failed. We’ve contributed to harm. We’ve fallen short. We owe something we cannot repay.

This isn’t about shame or self-hatred. It’s about honest acknowledgment—the kind of communication that makes healthy relationships possible.

Jesus taught a parable of a Prodigal Son who, after living a reckless life, decided to go home to his Father:

“When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: ’Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned before you; I don’t deserve to be called your son ever again.’

“But the father wasn’t listening. He was calling to the servants, ’Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a prize-winning heifer and roast it. We’re going to feast! We’re going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!’ And they began to have a wonderful time” (Luke 15:20-24, MSG).

Take a moment to reflect on the character of God as portrayed by the Father and the son who really represents all of us. Think about the request for forgiveness. Notice the Father’s response. Not one of condemnation. There are no “I told you so’s” or “you knew better.” No—the Father forgave him freely and had a celebration. That is the way our Heavenly Father deals with us.

Think About This: Is there something you’ve done that you’re struggling to bring before God? What does this story reveal about how He might respond to you?

The Reciprocal Nature of Forgiveness

Here’s the challenging part: “Forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors.”

This creates a direct correlation: Treat others the way God treats you. He forgives. He asks us to forgive others as well.

If you’re withholding forgiveness, you’re blocking your own experience of being forgiven
If you’re clinging to resentment, you’re stopping up the flow of grace in your own life
Forgiveness isn’t just a gift you give others—it’s the channel through which you receive healing

Think of it like a river. If you dam it up at any point, the water stops flowing both directions. When you interrupt the cycle of receiving and extending forgiveness, toxicity builds up. Guilt. Shame. Bitterness. Resentment.

But when you maintain that cycle—receive and pass on—healing flows.

Forgiving Yourself First

Many people find it harder to forgive themselves than to forgive others. The voice of self-condemnation can be relentless.

Here’s a powerful practice: Make the conscious choice to say: “I choose to accept the fact that I am forgiven. I choose to forgive myself and allow myself to be loved.”

This isn’t about letting yourself off the hook or avoiding accountability. It’s about refusing to let guilt and shame become your identity. Guilt and shame are destructive forces. If guilt gets ahold of you, shame comes in to finish the job. Shame is self-hatred, and it will destroy you from the inside out.

The path forward starts with looking at the character of God Himself—recognizing that you are valued, that you matter, that you are worthy of forgiveness. Then you make the conscious choice: I accept that I am forgiven. I allow myself to be loved.

When you experience forgiveness for yourself, extending it to others becomes more natural. The cycle works both ways. Interrupt it, and toxicity builds. Maintain it, and healing flows.

Think About This: Are you harder on yourself than God is on you? What would it feel like to receive His forgiveness and release yourself from shame?

Empowered to Forgive

No one can forgive in their own strength. Gritting your teeth and saying “I forgive you” while still holding onto the hurt doesn’t work. Real forgiveness requires empowerment beyond yourself.

This is where prayer becomes transformative. You’re not just communicating—you’re asking for power to do what you cannot do on your own. You’re asking for a heart that’s willing to forgive. You’re asking for the ability to let it go.

And here’s the beautiful paradox: as you forgive, you find freedom. Not just for the other person, but for yourself. You’re no longer bound by resentment. You’re no longer defined by the hurt. You’re free.

But it is a choice. It’s not consulting your feelings and asking “Do I feel like forgiving?” It’s making a conscious decision: I choose to forgive.

Think About This: Is there someone you need to forgive today? Can you name them right now and ask God for the strength to release them?

Putting It All Together: A Framework for Living

This ancient prayer framework isn’t just words to recite. It’s a way of approaching life:

See: God as your Father, intimately interested in your daily life—both the mundane and the monumental. You’re not alone in navigating today’s challenges. There’s a loving presence waiting to walk with you, providing what you need when you need it most.
Experience: A daily rhythm of connection. Receiving spiritual nourishment. Acknowledging your need for forgiveness. Extending grace to others. This is the practice of an integrated life—where the spiritual and physical aren’t separated but woven together.
Live: Connect daily. Whether it’s for complicated spiritual questions or basic physical needs—bring it all into conversation with your Father in heaven. Live with the awareness that you’re part of something bigger. You’re not meant to hoard resources or grace. You’re meant to receive and pass on. That’s the rhythm. That’s the flow.
Remember: the journey with the divine is experiential. You have to engage with it. Choose it. Show up for it. And as you do, you’ll discover that you’re wired with the capacity to pick up on the presence and work of something greater than yourself. Those “antennas” may have been dormant, but the spiritual journey awakens them. You become more sensitive to divine presence showing up in your everyday life.

So connect with God daily. For the complicated things. For the basic needs. For gratitude and thanksgiving. For everything.

Join the Conversation: What’s the hardest part of forgiveness for you—receiving it or giving it? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.

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